Childish Embarrassment
Embarrassment. Universally known as the “jump in a hole and die” emotion, the feeling is almost ubiquitous among individuals. My embarrassment comes from many diverse sources - awkward jokes, spilled drinks and basically anything to do with public speaking. However, there was a time where my greatest mortification came from My Little Pony.
When I was 4, my parents downloaded the My Little Pony world building app on my Ipad. I loved it. It was a child’s utopia - endless mini games, with different ponies and shops to collect. Everything about it was perfect to me - the artistic designs, the in-game coin system and the ability to city plan without constraint. At that time, I never felt embarrassed. After all, it was just a hobby of mine.
As my age reached the double digits, my attitude towards the game began to change drastically. My Little Pony was still fun, sure. But, for some peculiar reason, I always found myself hastily hiding my Ipad when friends came over. Whenever my parents asked what games I was playing, Minecraft and Chess were the go-to scapegoats. To have someone find out I liked a game rated “4+” was the stuff of nightmares.
To be honest, it really wasn’t a big deal. Ok, sure. I probably would have gotten laughed at or teased a little. But to preemptively expect humiliation for a game showed that I was insecure and unable to stand up for myself. Partly due to my diversifying interests outside of video games but mostly due to embarrassment, I ultimately decided to delete My Little Pony.
After that, I kind of just forgot about it. I got busier with schoolwork, which became the main occupier of my time. When I did relax, I usually doomscrolled on Youtube Shorts. However, as I got increasingly crushed by assignments in high school, my spare time drastically decreased. What little freedom I had, I didn’t want to spend watching brainrot. So, here came My Little Pony again.
To be honest, I redownloaded the app as a joke. Think, “Haha, what a silly game to relive my childhood!” I only planned to play a few days. But, as I became invested and spent more time on it, I had an epiphany: 4 year old me had GREAT taste in video games. I loved everything about My Little Pony - the wide selection of buildings, the various money-making schemes and most importantly, the dress-up station for ponies. I even encouraged one of my friends to download it.
My previous embarrassment seemed to have completely faded. Why? By this point, I had matured. I cared less about what other people thought and more about what I liked. The My Little Pony world building game was just one of my hobbies. So what? There are still many adults who still play Lego, love fingerpainting and have massive collections of dollhouses, all of which would be considered activities for young kids.
Universally, humans will always have things we like to do. Instead of fearing what other people think, we should embrace them. They’re a part of us.
Please help me get my word count up (currently 512 words) and improve the ending. Also, where can I reflect more?
Great essay Renee! I love how fun and sweet it is. I think you did a great job setting up the narration and reflecting on it. The first paragraph set up the rest of the essay well, and it grabbed my attention immediately.
ReplyDeleteI think you can reflect more on the game itself. Why did you like playing it? What aspect if the game made it fun? You can add a story of a time you were playing it or a specific part of the game. You can also reflect more on why you were embarrassed and why you had other games as a scapegoat. The last paragraph's doesn't really match the rest of your essay; you go from talking about yourself and abruptly change into a broader reflection. I think you can combine it with the paragraph before it. You can still keep the broad reflection but find a way to smoothly transition into it from your personal reflection.
Overall, you did a great job answering the prompt and writing a narration and reflection!
Great essay Renee! I love your boldness in conversing with the reader about a game you were at one point sure would get you embarrassed. I appreciate how your confidence in yourself and the fact that you don't mind at all anymore what people think of this game is apparent throughout the entire essay and it really helps give your essay more character. I think the reflection on the portion concerning your actual embarrassment about the game has adequate explanation, but if your goal is to increase your word count, I think a good general recommendation would be to reflect more on how you came to the conclusion that you did. It's very admirable how unabashed your enjoyment of the game is, but detailing how you were able to embrace it and its "childishness" is also a great place to expand more. Otherwise, excellent essay!
ReplyDeleteGreat essay! This was super fun to read. I, too, occasionally re-become an Ipad kid every few years and I think we should all embrace that. I think something you could expand on more is how your mindset shifted from wanting to hide the game from your friends to encouraging other people to download it. Did you end up playing together? How did you feel? etc. Overall though, I really loved that paragraph and it was a fun turning point in the essay. Another place you might want to go into more detail for is the moment that you deleted the My Little Pony game and potentially the greater significance of moving on from childhood/old hobbies.
ReplyDelete